Jesus once told a story about two men who went to the temple to pray (see Luke 18: 9-14). One was a Pharisee, the other a tax collector. The Pharisee prayed, “I thank you, God, that I am not grasping, unjust, adulterous like everyone else, and particularly that I am not like this tax collector here. I fast twice a week; I pay tithes on all I get.” The tax collector’s prayer was very different. He simply said, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.”
The Pharisee approached God with full hands. His hands were ‘heavy’ with his own good works. He was proud of his achievements, achievements he was using to justify himself before God and to make himself better than others. The tax collector’s attitude was very different. He came to God with empty hands. He realised that he had little or nothing to show for his life. He knew he depended entirely on the mercy of God.
Jesus leaves us in no doubt about which of the two men’s prayers he prefers. Jesus loves the attitude of the tax collector because the tax collector comes before God with empty hands. We need to be reminded that the spiritual life is God’s work in us. The spiritual life is less about what we do – our efforts, our good works, our achievements. It is, instead, more about what God does in us and through us. Concretely, it is about us our willingness to let God work in us and through us.
Therese of Lisieux wanted to appear before God in death empty-handed. Here is how she expressed this desire: “In the evening of this life, I shall appear before you with empty hands, for I do not ask you, Lord, to count my works.” Against the background of a theology of merit and a religious practice of requirements and rewards this was a brave and prophetic thing to say. Therese had come to know in a personal way that all is grace, all is gift, all is given. Like her, we too need to accept that God’s love and mercy are unconditional. We do not need to ‘earn’ love and mercy by our good deeds. They are free. It is God who saves us. We do not save ourselves.
To accept God’s love as gift, not achievement, we must learn to surrender. Unfortunately surrender does not come easy to us. We have all kinds of resistance to it. The spiritual life could be described as a process of breaking down our resistance to surrender. This process happens in all sorts of ways, not least our experiences of failing and falling. Whether or not we choose surrender, in the end God will see to it that we come before him with empty hands.