I once heard God compared to a mother who took her three young children to the seaside on a summer’s day. The children spent most of their time on the beach playing in the sand. Each of them built a sandcastle, according to his or her ability. When they had finished their work, their mother came to look at what they had done. She praised each of them individually for their achievements. On returning home the mother fed her children, washed them and put them to bed. Then she sat down to relax. She was happy with the day at the seaside; pleased that her children enjoyed themselves on the beach and that they were safe. And in the meantime the tide came in and washed away the sandcastles her children had built.
It is November. It is the month when we remember the dead and when we think about our own death. For all of us life is passing; it is transient. Death is inevitable. We have here no lasting city. The thought of our mortality at this wintertime gives us an opportunity to get things in perspective.
To get things in perspective it is helpful to ask ourselves some questions. One question we could do to ask ourselves during November is this: What will we have to leave behind us when our earthly life is over? Among the things we will definitely leave behind are the sandcastles we have built. Our sandcastles are more than the buildings we own. They are our projects, our investments, our businesses, our wealth, even our achievements. All these things may have preoccupied us in life, but they will be of little benefit to us in death.
Another question November brings is one that gets to the heart of the meaning of life. What will we take with us when our time in this world is over? The poet William Blake provides the answer: “We are put on earth a little space that we might learn to bear the beams of love.” What will endure are the relationships we have built, including our relationship with God. Relationships are the most important thing in life. It is the investment we make in relationships that we will take with us into God’s other world beyond the grave. It is love and only love that will last. When we meet the Lord face to face in death the thing he will look for is the love in our hearts.
So, “if you tend to get overly serious about your work and your responsibilities remind yourself that the most common deathbed regrets have to do with neglected relationships, not unfinished business” (The Little Book of Calm).