Loneliness is a painful condition affecting many people today. Even before the social distancing caused by Covid 19, the loneliness people were experiencing in Britain was so dreadful and widespread that the Government there created a new ministerial post, Minister for Loneliness.
Loneliness is caused by isolation, the breakdown in relationships and the lack of real communication. It is true that the mobile phone and the internet are serving our need for connection, but the kind of connection they create is limited and often superficial. They lack a mutual physical presence and depth of engagement which the human person is made for. A contemporary phenomenon is the growth of the urban population. But urbanisation is leaving those who are left in rural areas feeling more and more isolated and those who have moved into cities feeling lost in a vast sea of impersonal restless activity. It is a fact that many people who live in cities do not know their neighbours. Some even admit to the television being their main source of company. Isolation and loneliness have the capacity to create darkness in the human heart which in turn leads to depression. This is understandable since we are made for relationships. To be human is to be in relationship. To quote the well-known words of John Donne, “No man is an island unto himself.”
Those who feel isolated and lonely can find sources of company. One source is the local parish. A parish is a Christian community and it offers people opportunities to spend time together. All parishes have a Sunday Eucharist and many have a daily one. Some parishes have regular prayer meetings including faith sharing inspired by scripture. Parishes also tend to have a variety of regular social events. These activities and more offer us ways to experience a sense of belonging and to become involved in the lives of others.
Another thing that can help us deal with the loneliness we feel is prayer. Prayer has been described as company-keeping with the Lord. There is a constant Presence in our lives waiting to be discovered. This Presence, though invisible, is real and personal and it offers us love and friendship. All we need do is find a way, our own way, of being aware of God’s presence. If we are willing to turn to God in the silence of our hearts we will find a source of companionship that comforts us in our loneliness. Through the experience of prayer it is possible to be alone but not feel lonely. This is because prayer turns silence into solitude. To experience solitude is to know that we are never alone.