I wrote this reflection a number of years ago. It seems more apt and relevant now. At a time when many of us are struggling and suffering because of the pandemic that is coronavirus perhaps what we need most is compassion. To paraphrase the words of Ram Dass, We need to just walk each other home.
Horror gripped the heart of a World War I soldier, as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. Caught in a trench with continuous gunfire whizzing over his head, the soldier asked his lieutenant if he could go out into the man’s land between the trenches to bring his fallen comrade back. “You can go,” said the Lieutenant, “but I don’t think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your life away.” The Lieutenant’s words didn’t matter, and the soldier went anyway. Miraculously, he managed to reach his friend, hoisted him onto his shoulder and brought him back to their company’s trench. As the two of them tumbled in together to the bottom of the trench, the officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend. “I told you it wouldn’t be worth it,” he said. “Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded.” “It was worth it? Sir,” said the soldier. “What do you mean by worth it?” responded the Lieutenant. “Your friend is dead.” “Yes Sir,” the private answered, ” but it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say….”Jim… I knew you’d come.”
This is a true story and a moving story. It is a story about friendship. It is also a story about the nature of compassion. Compassion is more than doing deeds of kindness for people who are in need. It is more than fixing things. It is more than finding solutions for people who have problems. In essence compassion is simply about being there for people without pulling back in fear or anger.
Compassion is being with others. It is walking with and along-side other people. In a rescue situation it is the difference between throwing a rope into a well and going down into the well. Throwing the rope is a detached action that costs little. Going down into the well is personal involvement in the situation. This is what Jesus did. He chose to become personally involved in our lives. We call this the Incarnation. It is reflected in the name Emmanuel, God with us, which is one of the titles given to Jesus. Indeed Jesus himself in his hour of trial and struggle asked the very same from his companions. “Watch and pray.” What I need from you at this time is to stay with me, to be with me.
Compassion can also be described as standing in another’s shoes. To stand in another person’s shoes is to see the world as they see it, from their perspective. This may not be easy. It may require us to let go of our opinions, our prejudices, our need to be in control. Compassion invites us to allow others to find their own solutions to their problems. This means that we may have to let go of our need to fix things. True dialogue requires this kind of compassion. Openness and a willingness to stand in the shoes of others create the possibility of compromise and consensus.
In its purest form compassion is the ability to feel with others. The word itself literally means ‘with passion.’ To enter into the passion of others is to be truly compassionate. There is a story told about the French diocesan priest known as the Cure d’Ars. When the only son of an elderly widow died the Cure came to visit her. People expected him to help her make sense of her loss. Instead he simply sat beside her, put his hand on her shoulder and let his tears flow with hers. This is a beautiful example of compassion. Compassion is more than sympathy. It is empathy.
In my view, now is not the time for moralising or preaching. Of course there are lessons to be learned from the terrible crisis we are experiencing. But these lessons are for later. What we all need now is compassion. So let’s try to be this compassionate presence for one another.