Category: Suffering

The experience of suffering is common to all of us. No one goes through life without bearing the weight of the cross.  As Christians we believe that the burden of the cross is shared by Jesus.  During the last few days of his life Jesus came to know the pain of suffering in its many forms and with great intensity.

Throughout his trial and crucifixion Jesus endured terrible physical pain.  His body was torn apart by scourging, thorns, nails and the weight of the cross.  The strain on his limbs while he hung on the cross must have been immense.  Hundreds of years earlier a psalmist had foretold the experience of the suffering servant when he wrote, “All my body is sick, spent and utterly crushed.”  Crucifixion was indeed a cruel form of torture and death, the most shameful in the ancient world.

Then there was the emotional suffering.  During those last days of his life Jesus must have felt rejection and great loneliness.  The very people he had come to help, those he had served tirelessly and patiently, now turned their backs on him.  The same crowds who had hailed him as king on Palm Sunday now acted as if they did not know him or want anything to do with him. In the words of the Prophet Isaiah, “He was rejected and despised by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Is.53:3). This rejection must have been very painful for Jesus.  We all need to know that we are accepted, yet here was Jesus experiencing that awful feeling that neither he nor his ministry were understood.

The experience of rejection brings with it the pain of loneliness.  For Jesus, this loneliness was intense because even his closest friends deserted him. Yes, his own group of companions, the ones who lived with him, eat with him, travelled the roads with him, witnessed his miracles, heard his stories and shared his most intimate secrets also abandoned him and even denied that they knew him.  On the night of his arrest Jesus was left completely alone without the human support and comfort which is so important to all of us especially at difficult times in our lives.

For Jesus, as indeed for many of the saints who came after him, the most intense form of suffering was surely darkness of spirit.  It is the suffering experienced by the psalmist who prayed, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? You are far from my plea and the cry of my distress.”  To describe this form of suffering is difficult.  It is an inner darkness which comes over the mind and heart leaving them without any sense of the presence of God or of consolation.  St John of the Cross, the Carmelite mystic, called it, ‘the dark night of the spirit.’  Whatever way we attempt to describe this experience, it is certain that trust in God is all there left to hold on to. The ways Jesus suffered are no different to ours. Holy Week offers us an opportunity to unite our sufferings with his and indeed to draw inspiration and strength from his example.

I wrote this reflection a number of years ago.  It seems more apt and relevant now.  At a time when many of us are struggling and suffering because of the pandemic that is coronavirus perhaps what we need most is compassion. To paraphrase the words of Ram Dass, We need to just walk each other home.

Horror gripped the heart of a World War I soldier, as he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle. Caught in a trench with continuous gunfire whizzing over his head, the soldier asked his lieutenant if he could go out into the man’s land between the trenches to bring his fallen comrade back. “You can go,” said the Lieutenant, “but I don’t think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your life away.” The Lieutenant’s words didn’t matter, and the soldier went anyway. Miraculously, he managed to reach his friend, hoisted him onto his shoulder and brought him back to their company’s trench. As the two of them tumbled in together to the bottom of the trench, the officer checked the wounded soldier, then looked kindly at his friend.  “I told you it wouldn’t be worth it,” he said. “Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded.”  “It was worth it? Sir,” said the soldier. “What do you mean by worth it?” responded the Lieutenant. “Your friend is dead.” “Yes Sir,” the private answered, ” but it was worth it because when I got to him, he was still alive and I had the satisfaction of hearing him say….”Jim… I knew you’d come.”

This is a true story and a moving story.  It is a story about friendship.  It is also a story about the nature of compassion.  Compassion is more than doing deeds of kindness for people who are in need.  It is more than fixing things.  It is more than finding solutions for people who have problems.   In essence compassion is simply about being there for people without pulling back in fear or anger. 

Compassion is being with others.  It is walking with and along-side other people.  In a rescue situation it is the difference between throwing a rope into a well and going down into the well.  Throwing the rope is a detached action that costs little.  Going down into the well is personal involvement in the situation.  This is what Jesus did.  He chose to become personally involved in our lives.  We call this the Incarnation.  It is reflected in the name Emmanuel, God with us, which is one of the titles given to Jesus.  Indeed Jesus himself in his hour of trial and struggle asked the very same from his companions.  “Watch and pray.”  What I need from you at this time is to stay with me, to be with me. 

Compassion can also be described as standing in another’s shoes.  To stand in another person’s shoes is to see the world as they see it, from their perspective.  This may not be easy.  It may require us to let go of our opinions, our prejudices, our need to be in control.  Compassion invites us to allow others to find their own solutions to their problems.  This means that we may have to let go of our need to fix things.  True dialogue requires this kind of compassion.  Openness and a willingness to stand in the shoes of others create the possibility of compromise and consensus.  

In its purest form compassion is the ability to feel with others.  The word itself literally means ‘with passion.’  To enter into the passion of others is to be truly compassionate.  There is a story told about the French diocesan priest known as the Cure d’Ars.  When the only son of an elderly widow died the Cure came to visit her.  People expected him to help her make sense of her loss.  Instead he simply sat beside her, put his hand on her shoulder and let his tears flow with hers.  This is a beautiful example of compassion.  Compassion is more than sympathy. It is empathy.

In my view, now is not the time for moralising or preaching.  Of course there are lessons to be learned from the terrible crisis we are experiencing.  But these lessons are for later.  What we all need now is compassion. So let’s try to be this compassionate presence for one another.