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Waiting

During the season of Advent we are reminded that the Jewish people had to wait for the coming of the Messiah. Indeed, during the season of Advent we are drawn into the experience of their long years of waiting. God makes his chosen people wait for the fulfilment of their longings.

Waiting is a holy thing, but it may not be an easy thing, or a popular thing. Our contemporary culture has no time for waiting. It is an instant culture; instant food, instant coffee, instant communication. We want everything now, immediately. This puts our contemporary culture at odds with the spiritual life. The spiritual life is a process of waiting. Spiritual growth does not happen overnight. There are no microwave mystics, no instant saints. Spiritual growth is a gradual process. It takes time, a lot of time. It involves patience and it involves perseverance.

We say that God’s ways are not our ways. It is also true to say that God’s time is not our time. In Advent we are being invited, like the Jewish people, to wait patiently on God to fulfil his plan for us, in us; for me, in me. We see this spirit of waiting in John the Baptist, one of the great Advent figures. John sent messengers to Jesus to ask if he needs to continue to wait: “Are you the one who is to come, or are we to wait for another?” (Luke 7:19). Jesus assures John that he has to wait no longer. The Kingdom of God is at hand. John’s waiting is over, and it has been rewarded.

Why God makes us wait for what is good for us is not easy to understand. Perhaps it is one of those mysteries that we may just need to accept. What is true is that waiting increases our desire and kindles our longing. It makes us grateful and helps us to appreciate what has been given to us. It also deepens our trust in God and the deeper our trust in God the freer God is to work in us and through us.

Preparing for Christmas

Advent is a time of spiritual preparation for Christmas. One of the great Advent figures is John the Baptist. John was a prophet, and as a prophet he has some helpful things to teach us about how to prepare for Christmas. Here are three all beginning with the letter S.

John was single-minded. The focus of his life was Jesus. He had come to prepare the way for Jesus and to point Jesus out when he came. John let nothing distract him from centering his life on Jesus. In the weeks leading up to Christmas there is a danger that we would get distracted, that we would forget that Jesus is the reason for the season. We need to try our best to keep Jesus at the centre of our Christmas preparations and celebrations. If we don’t, Christmas may leave us with a sense of disappointment and perhaps even emptiness.

We are told that John the Baptist lived out in the desert. He sought silence. Silence helped John not only to reflect but, more importantly, to listen to his heart. In listening to his heart John knew he was listening to God. Silence enabled John to experience solitude. Solitude is finding the Presence of God within. It is prayer experienced as friendship. Like John we too need times of silence in our lives, especially in the weeks before Christmas. How else can we glimpse the great wonder of God becoming human in a helpless, vulnerable child? Without silence Christmas can be a superficial experience.

John also lived a simple life. The scriptures tell us that he wore a camel skin and ate locusts and wild honey. There was no excess baggage, no clutter or waste in John’s life. His life was focused on the essentials. John’s example is an important one for us who live in a consumerist culture, a consumerist culture that is in overdrive for months before Christmas. It often feels as if the real religion at Christmas is shopping. Of course, it is a good thing at Christmas to give presents. Gifts are an expression of our love and appreciation of others. But there is so much needless spending and waste at Christmas. Waste is offensive to the poor. It also distracts us from the things that really matter – our relationships. The investment we make in building relationships is much more important than our investment in material possessions.

To prepare for Christmas John the Baptist’s message to us is clear: (1) Don’t forget that Jesus is the reason for the season, (2) Create a little time for silence and (3) Put relationships before possessions.

New Publication

A chance encounter and conversation on a plane journey was the inspiration for this little book. I help a man called Thomas to understand what is driving our western lifestyle and why this may be the cause of much of our dissatisfaction and anxiety. I then offer Thomas some advice on how to live a meaningful life. This advice is focused on five values which I present as five invitations.

To order a copy send me an email at philipmcparland@hotmail.com. Please include your address. Cost: £5.00

With Empty Hands

Jesus once told a story about two men who went to the temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, the other a tax collector. The Pharisee prayed, “I thank you, God, that I am not grasping, unjust, adulterous like everyone else, and particularly that I am not like this tax collector here. I fast twice a week; I pay tithes on all I get.” The tax collector’s prayer was very different. He simply said, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.”

The Pharisee approached God with full hands. His hands were ‘heavy’ with his own good works. He was proud of his achievements, achievements he was using to justify himself before God and to make himself better than others. The tax collector’s attitude was very different. He came to God with empty hands. He realised that he had little or nothing to show for his life. He knew he depended entirely on the mercy of God.

Jesus leaves us in no doubt about which of the two men’s prayers he prefers. Jesus loves the attitude of the tax collector because the tax collector comes before God with empty hands. We need to be reminded that the spiritual life is God’s work in us. The spiritual life is less about what we do – our efforts, our good works, our achievements. It is, instead, more about what God does in us and through us. Concretely, it is about us our willingness to let God work in us and through us.

Therese of Lisieux desired to appear before God in death empty-handed. Here is how she expressed this desire: “In the evening of this life, I shall appear before you with empty hands, for I do not ask you, Lord, to count my works.” Against the background of a theology of merit and a religious practice of requirements and rewards this was a brave and prophetic thing to say. Therese had come to know in a personal way that all is grace, all is gift, all is given. Like her, we too need to accept that God’s love and mercy are unconditional. We do not need to ‘earn’ love and mercy by our good deeds. They are free. It is God who saves us. We do not save ourselves.

To accept God’s love as gift, not achievement, we must learn to surrender. Unfortunately surrender does not come easy to us. We have all kinds of resistance to it. The spiritual life could be described as a process of breaking down our resistance to surrender. This process happens in all sorts of ways, not least our experiences of failing and falling. Whether or not we choose surrender, in the end God will see to it that we come before him with empty hands.

Happiness

The human heart has a longing for happiness. The difficulty is we end up looking for happiness in the wrong places. This is because we are wounded and under the control of what we call the ego or the false self. Furthermore, the world in which we live is an imperfect place. It is a broken world, a divided world, indeed a cruel world. Our lives are affected by separation and self-interest and the evil we call sin.

One of the things that Mary the Mother of Jesus said to St Bernadette when she appeared to her at the Grotto in Lourdes was: “I do not promise you happiness in this life, only in the next.” Christians believe that our desire for happiness will only be truly fulfilled in God’s other world beyond the grave; in the place we call heaven. When Jesus speaks about happiness his concern is our lasting happiness, our eternal happiness. He often refers to the things that lead to lasting happiness and to the things that do not.

Jesus is clear and sometimes blunt. He tells us not to expect money or possessions or power or fame to make us happy. These things do not satisfy the deeper hungers in our hearts. Building our lives around accumulation and achievement and the constant need for human approval is futile and false. For Jesus what makes us happy is loving relationships. It is the quality of the relationships we have with ourselves, others and God that is the source of true happiness.

Building a relationship with God will certainly make us happy. When we invest time developing a relationship with God we discover that God knows us personally and loves us unconditionally. What is more, we realise that we have no need to prove ourselves to God or indeed to anyone else. Building caring and compassionate relationships with other people will also make us happy. Caring and compassionate relationships are what we long for and what we are made for.

We need to keep reminding ourselves that the only thing we can take with us when we die is the love in our hearts. Everything else will be left behind. Here is how The Little Book of Calm expresses this reality: “If you tend to get too serious about your work or your responsibilities it is good to remind yourself that the most common deathbed regrets have to do with neglected relationships, not unfinished business.”

The Power of the Cross

Of all religious symbols I think it is fair to say that the most familiar and perhaps most popular is the cross. Christians are baptised with the sign of the cross. They begin their prayer with the sign of the cross. The cross is hung in church buildings and religious institutions. It is placed on top of monuments and displayed in many of our homes. It is even worn as a piece of jewellery around the neck and in the form of a broch.

So why does the cross have such significance for us? “This thing called love,” to quote the words of a well-known song by the late Johnny Cash. For Christians the cross is above all a symbol of love. It is the symbol of the love we all hunger for, desire and need.

We cannot separate is the cross from love. The cross makes no sense apart from love. Jesus changed the cross from a symbol of failure and death to a symbol of victory and hope by his radical love. Jesus lived by the ‘rule’ of love and he died in fidelity to this love.

“God so loved the world that he gave his only Son” (John 3:16). These are perhaps the most quoted words of scripture, displayed in all sorts of places and for all sorts of gatherings. The greatest and most powerful revelation of God’s love was the death of his own beloved Son on the cross. The cross is the symbol of the unconditional love that God has for each and every human person. As we gaze at the cross how could we doubt that we are infinitely loved, how could we refuse to accept that we are cherished, precious, valued? Through the symbol of the cross God says to each one of us, “I love you.”

Unconditional love is the greatest power in the world. It has the power to motivate, to liberate, to heal, to transform. It even has the power to change death into life. The power of the cross is the power of unconditional love. This is why Jesus said, “When I am lifted up on the cross I will draw all people to myself” (John 12: 32). It is why the followers of Jesus continue to find hope and comfort in the cross. And it is why the cross will always be the most used and most popular religious symbol of all.

Lord Jesus, each time I bless myself with the sign of the cross may I remember that you love me personally, affectionately and unconditionally.

Prayer

I once had a very wise spiritual director who said to me about himself, “The most necessary thing in my life is sleep; the most important thing in my life is prayer.” I am sure many of us would agree with his first statement about sleep. It would be good if we also agreed with his second about prayer. Prayer was the most important thing in his life because the most important relationship in his life was his relationship with God.

Prayer is an expression of our relationship with God; prayer helps us to grow in our relationship with God. But who is the God whose friendship and help we experience in prayer? Jesus calls him Father; in fact he calls him Abba which means daddy! To call God Abba Father means that God is not someone who is remote and distant from us, someone who is uninvolved and uninterested in our lives. On the contrary, the God of Jesus is a God who knows each of us personally, who loves us unconditionally and who cares for us faithfully. The Abba of Jesus is a Father who wants what is best for us as parents want what is best for their children.

So how should we pray to this God who loves us to bits? Jesus is clear that we should use simple, honest words when we talk to God. There is no need to babble, to use many complicated words. The best words are those that come from our hearts. The best words are those that are an honest expression of what is in our hearts. What Jesus is asking us to do is talk to God as if we were talking to our best friend.

Jesus is also clear that we should ask God for what it is we need and to keep on asking. Jesus insists that we persevere in prayer. Our prayer must be persistent. Jesus assures us that God does answer our prayers of petition, but we must remember that when God answers our prayers he does so in a way that is best for us. God sees the overall picture of our lives whereas usually we only see the immediate, present really. When God answers our prayers God has our true good, our lasting good at heart.

It is important that we do not get discouraged if we do not get from God what we ask for. What we ask for may not be what we truly need at the time. Our prayers are never wasted on God. After all, God is our Father.

Seven Demons

Because of the human condition we are prone to compulsive behaviour. Indeed our compulsive behaviour can become addictive. In the scriptures our addictions are often referred to as demons. There are demons operating in our lives seeking to control and imprison us. Jesus suggests that these demons may be legion. Here let me focus on seven all of which begin with the letter P. Seven is a significant biblical number and alliteration can help us to remember.

Possessions: I need to own things, plenty of things. I believe that the more things I have the more secure I will be. Possessions are my way of filling the emptiness I feel inside. Because of this I shop, I consume, I buy things I do not need, I waste money. The allure of possessions prevents me from saying, ‘I have enough.’

Power: I need to be in charge and in control. I want to be the one who is making the decisions. My hunger for power makes me ambitious, even ruthless. Because of it I can walk over people and use them for my own advantage.

Pleasure: I invest too much time and energy in the things that give me pleasure – TV, sport, alcohol, music, computer games, the internet , my mobile phone .… I see life as having a good time. It is about fun and games. Pain is to be avoided, so is sacrifice. I use people for my enjoyment.

Productivity: I need to achieve and be productive. I always have to be doing something useful. In fact, I only feel good about myself when I am busy. If I have nothing to do I feel restless, even guilty. My obsessive need to be productive can turn me into a workaholic.

Popularity: It is important for me to be popular, to have people like me, to be highly thought of. I am constantly trying to please other people. I am all things to all men and women. I have no mind of my own, no identity of my own. I get my identity from making other people happy.

Presentation: I am overly preoccupied with my image, my appearance and the way I look. I need to live in the right location and drive the best car. I will not appear in public unless I look presentable. I diet and exercise not because this is healthy but because having a good figure will gain me the affirmation and approval of others. In fact, it is only by appearing attractive that I can feel good about myself.

Prestige: My status in life is a big thing. I need to have a good reputation. I like to be associated with people who are well known or rich or powerful. Being around people who are important makes me feel important. Associating with people who are famous helps me to feel good about myself. The esteem associated with my job, my wealth, my friends is necessary for my own self- esteem.

From Duty to Encounter

It is not a good thing to put people on a pedestal. We are all weak, limited, imperfect and fickle. We cannot not disappoint one another. To expect too much from other human beings is to set ourselves up for constant disappointment.

It is the same with institutions. If we put too much trust in institutions we are going to be let down. In recent times we have seen how self-serving all the big institutions are. The flaws of our politicians, our bankers and our church leaders have been exposed often dramatically and with devastating consequences. No wonder so many people in our society seem to lack any kind of moral compass.

When it comes to the institution of the church it is important for us to realise that the church is not an end in itself but a means to an end. The primary reason the church exists is to bring people into a relationship with God. Our deepest belonging is to God. This means that our security is to be found in the relationship God has with us not in the institutional life of the church. People are often attracted to the church because they believe it will give them the certainty they crave. Those who seek certainty in institutional religion have a tendency to cling to every detail of church teaching and practice. No institution including the church can provide us with absolute certainty. Indeed, the desire for certainty can prevent us from putting our faith in a loving and dependable God.

To mature in our faith we must move from institutional belonging to encounter. It is not enough for us to say that we belong to the church. This will only satisfy some of our needs. Sooner or later we must have an encounter with God. An encounter with God is a uniquely personal experience and it helps us to take possession of the relationship God has with us. Only a relationship with God can nourish the deeper longings in the human heart. An adult Christian is one who has encountered God and who finds love and security in a living relationship with God.

It is an encounter with God that brings us into the mystical stage of religion. In the mystical stage of religion we know that we are loved unconditionally and that we have nothing to fear. This is the stage when we discover that God is our rock, refuge and strength. It is also the stage when we surrender and trust at deeper levels. Ultimately we must live by faith. To live by faith is to anchor our lives in God in the sure knowledge that God who is relentless affection is totally faithful to us.

Accepting our Humanity

There is a saying that familiarity breeds contempt. Whatever about breeding contempt, familiarity can certainly make us blind. When we grow up with people, when we live with people and become accustomed to them, we can find it difficult to believe that there is more to them than meets the eye. We can make assumptions that may in fact be wrong.

This certainly was the case with Jesus. His own town’s people, his neighbours, could not accept the fact that a person who went to school with them, who played with them, who attended the synagogue with them, who socialised with them, who worked for them as a tradesman was in fact a prophet, indeed the long awaited prophet promised by God.

Perhaps the issue for the Jesus’ town’s people was ordinariness rather than familiarity. How can God be present in someone who is so ordinary, who is like the rest of us? Can God’s Messiah be someone who comes from a remote village, who lives in relatively poor circumstances, who works as a carpenter, whose life is full of simple, mundane chores? This is the scandal of Christianity; that God has come to us in and through the life of an ordinary human being known as Jesus of Nazareth. Whether we like it or not, whether we are comfortable with it or not, God is to be found in the humanity of Jesus. This is the fundamental truth of Christianity and it is called the Incarnation.

The Incarnation has two important implications for us. The first is that we need to accept that we experience God in and through the humanity of Jesus. The second is a consequence of the first. We also need to accept that we experience God in our own humanity and in the humanity of other people. God is not to be found in some ethereal world outside and beyond our human experience. God is found in the here and now, in the concreteness and ordinariness of everyday life, in all that is human. To deny our humanity in all its forms of expression is to hide from God. To say ‘yes’ to our humanity is to say ‘yes’ to God.