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Twin Sisters

Jesus has been described as a man of prayer and a man of compassion. This is certainly the way he comes across in the Gospel. Indeed for Jesus prayer and compassion were like twin sisters that could not be separated.

Jesus needed time to be alone. He needed times of quiet, of silence in his life. These times of silence gave him the opportunity to pray, to nourish his relationship with the one whom he called Abba Father. For Jesus times of silence were an experience of solitude. In the silence he was intimate with his Father. Times of silence were so important to Jesus that he was prepared to get up very early in the morning to have them.

Jesus was also a man of compassion. He responded to human need when he found it, in the form he found it. Jesus was deeply aware of the burdens that people were carrying, of the pain, sickness and anxiety in the lives of those he came into contact with. Jesus not only sympathised with people, he also empathised with them. His own humanity enabled him to know the humanity of others. Jesus’ struggle with his own human weakness allowed him to understand what human weakness can do to the lives of others. “For the high priest we have is not incapable of feeling our weaknesses with us, but he has been tempted in exactly the same way as ourselves” (Heb 4:15).

The word connect is used a lot nowadays to describe the benefits of the internet and the mobile phone. In our modern world we certainly have a variety of types of connection. But not all of these bring depth to our relationships. Prayer enabled Jesus to connect with his Father at a deep level. Compassion enabled him to connect with other people at a deep level. The human heart is made for deep connection. We are made for friendship, friendship with God, friendship with other people. Prayer feeds our friendship with God; compassion feeds our friendships with other people. We can learn from the life of Jesus about the importance of prayer and compassion. We can also learn from Jesus not to separate these two beautiful and life-giving sources of connection.

Relationships Come First

Someone living in England once told me he believed with conviction that the dominant value in UK culture is work. Work comes first. It is more important than anything else. If this is true, and there is plenty of evidence to suggest that it is, then people are measured by their productivity and by their usefulness.

My conversation with this man reminded me of something I once read in The Little Book of Calm. “If you tend to get overly serious about your work and your responsibilities remind yourself that the most common deathbed regrets have to do with neglected relationships, not unfinished business.” The truth is relationships are the most important thing in our lives, not work. Of course we need to work, but we do not need to define ourselves by our work. If we define ourselves by our capacity for work we lose touch with what it really means to be human. We are, after all, called human beings not human doers!

The consequences of a culture that makes work the number one priority are many. Words like busyness, ambition, competition, exhaustion, burn- out, depression naturally come to mind. But there are other things too perhaps less obvious. Those who are unemployed or unemployable feel worthless. Those who stay at home to look after children feel devalued. Those who take time to relax and play feel guilty. The work ethic that drives western culture and that supposedly creates prosperity does not make people feel any happier about themselves; in fact it makes them feel worse.

Jesus put relationships first. For him who we are is much more important than what we do. When Jesus spoke about the Kingdom of God he was not speaking about territory or politics or the exercise of power. He was speaking about the way people relate to one another and to God. Jesus sought to create an inclusive community, a community where people would experience relationships that are just, caring and compassionate. For us, two thousand years later, the challenge remains the same: to make relationships, not work, our priority.

Our North Star

I recently had a conversation with a man in his late thirties. He told me that many of his contemporaries had no real source of guidance in their lives. “They have no north star,” is the way he put it. It is certainly true that there is a breakdown of trust in our society. Many people have lost faith in the major institutions that have been the bedrock of our way of life. We are missing a moral compass and things like consumerism, individualism and the social media are filling the vacuum.

On the feast of the Epiphany, sometimes referred to as ‘little Christmas’, we meet three men who had the courage to follow a new star that appeared in the sky. Their journey brought them to an unfamiliar place and to an unexpected discovery. They found a child who had come into the world to offer its peoples guidance and hope. So convinced were they of their discovery that their lives took a whole new direction and were given a new sense of purpose. The Gospel tells us that they returned home by a different route.

The truth is there is a moral compass to guide us. We do have a ‘north star’. This star is the person of Jesus discovered by the Magi in a stable in Bethlehem. Jesus is the Word of God who came among us to speak the truth that sets us free. He is the wise man who inspires and guides us. The teachings of Jesus provide us with meaning and give purpose and direction to our lives.

Let’s not allow the failures of the Church and her ministers prevent us from hearing the message of Jesus. The Church in her weakness may confuse and disappoint us, but Jesus will not. He has words of comfort and hope, words that will change the way we see ourselves, other people and the world around us. Peter once said to Jesus, “Lord, who else is there to go to; it is you who have the words of eternal life” (see John 6:68). Jesus is still the only one who can offer us the message of eternal life. It is he who is our ‘north star’.

The Family

A number of years ago I attended a baptism. After the baptism was over the grandfather of the child who was baptised said to me, “The best gift in life is the gift of a healthy child.” What a wonderful thing it is to give birth, to bring new life into the world, to create a family. Creating a family must be one of the most fulfilling and rewarding things that human beings can do.

Of course raising children is hard work. It is a 24/7 business. It involves making numerous daily sacrifices – early mornings, late nights, constant vigilance. I once heard someone make this comment about raising children: “Give children plenty of who you are and little of what you have.” What children need most is time and attention. Time and attention are more important than things. When children get time and attention they feel loved and they feel secure. The best preparation children get for life is the time and attention they receive from their parents. There is much wisdom in the saying, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” Nowadays fathers are spending more time rocking the cradle. Parenthood is a great vocation, but it does carry huge responsibility.

I once saw a plaque hanging on the wall of a kitchen that had these words written on it: “Home is the place where you grumble the most and are treated the best.” That is a fairly good description of what it means to belong to a family. In your own home, among the members of your family, you can let your hair down, give out about the world, complain about what is happening in your life and yet you know that you will always be accepted, cherished, and safe. The love we receive within our families allows us to be ourselves. It also enables us to live and work in the world with healthy self-esteem and self-confidence.

The relationships within the home are the most significant and important relationships in our lives. And yet because of the pressures of life and the need to succeed we can end up neglecting the relationships within our homes. The life of the family of Nazareth, known as the Holy Family, is a good example of quality relationships within the home. Joseph, Mary and Jesus were attentive to one another; they made time for each other; they put one another first. This helped them to deal with the hardships and challenges they had to face. It also strengthened the bonds of love and peace that were between them. If we prioritise the relationships within our homes we too will experience the same resilience, love and peace.

Sent from the Father

Jesus is an immortal diamond. There are so many sides to him, so many ways of seeing him and of understanding the meaning of his life and mission. But no matter how we chose to understand Jesus we can never separate him from his Father. The life and ministry of Jesus of Nazareth only make sense when seen in relation to God the Father, the one Jesus called Abba. The Father is not just the best prism for gazing at Jesus. He is the only prism.

There are many reasons why Jesus was sent into the world by the Father. Here are three:

Firstly, Jesus is the one who reveals the Father. St John the Evangelist writes: “No one has ever seen God. It is the only Son who is nearest to the Father’s heart who has made him known” (John 1:18). Jesus, the Father’s Beloved Son, has first-hand experience of the Father. He knows the Father personally and intimately. He knows who the Father is. He knows the contours of the Father’s heart and he knows the love that the Father has for humanity. There is no one better ‘qualified’ to reveal the Father than Jesus.

Secondly, Jesus is the one who leads us to the Father’s house; he shows us how to find our way back home. This is what he means when he says, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). In the Letter to the Hebrews Jesus is described as the pioneer and perfecter of our faith (see 12:2). He is the one who leads us in our faith and brings it to completion. If we did not have the guidance of Jesus we would find ourselves wandering around in a wilderness, lost and confused. Jesus is our compass. It is he who keeps us focused on our destination. And our destination is the house of the Father, the place where we will know that we are accepted, cherished and safe.

Finally, Jesus is our companion. Not only does he show us the way to the Father’s house, he also accompanies us on our journey there. Jesus is not a detached authority figure who tells us what to do from a distance. He is our brother who walks alongside us. In the Incarnation Jesus made himself one with us. He entered into solidarity with us, sharing our joys and our sorrows, our successes and our failures, our hopes and our fears. And because of his resurrection Jesus continues to be present to us and in us as our invisible companion. On our journey home to the Father’s house we have the faithful friendship of Jesus.

Waiting

During the season of Advent we are reminded that the Jewish people had to wait for the coming of the Messiah. Indeed during the season of Advent we are drawn into the experience of their long years of waiting. God makes his chosen people wait for the fulfilment of their longings.

Waiting is a holy thing, but it may not be an easy thing, or a popular thing. Our contemporary culture has no time for waiting! It is an instant culture; instant food, instant coffee, instant communication. We want everything now, immediately. This puts our contemporary culture at variance with the spiritual life. The spiritual life is a process of waiting. Spiritual growth does not happen overnight. There are no microwave mystics; no instant saints. Spiritual growth is a gradual process. It takes time, a lot of time. It involves patience and it involves perseverance. The two P’s.

We say that God’s ways are not our ways. It is also true to say that God’s time is not our time! In Advent we are being invited, like the Jewish people, to wait patiently on God to fulfil his plan for us, in us; for me, in me. We see this spirit of waiting in John the Baptist, one of the great Advent figures. John sent messengers to Jesus to ask if he needs to continue to wait. “Are you the one who is to come, or are we to wait for another?” (Luke 7:19) Jesus assures John that he has to wait no longer. The Kingdom of God is now at hand. John’s waiting is over and it has been rewarded.

Why God makes us wait for what is good for us is not easy to understand. Perhaps it is one of those mysteries that we may just need to accept. What is clear is that waiting increases our desire and kindles our longing. It makes us grateful and helps us to appreciate what has been given to us. It also deepens our trust in God and the deeper our trust in God the freer God is to work in us and through us.

Hope

We all need some hope in our lives. People look for hope in different places. One place to look is the Gospel. During the few weeks into Christmas we celebrate the season of Advent. The season of Advent is often called the season of hope. So what kind of hope does Advent offer us?

Advent is clear that no matter what we are going through, no matter what difficulties and problems we are dealing with, things will eventually get better. Sooner or later things will improve. There is a brighter future. According to Advent, God will see to it that the good will win out, that light will dispel the darkness, that rough ground will become smooth. The reason for this hope is the utter fidelity of God. God is faithful to his creation, especially to his people. God is not going to abandon what God has created and redeemed. The coming of Jesus into the world is proof of that.

Advent also reminds us that we do in fact already possess a treasure. This treasure is not a treasure made of silver and gold. It is the treasure of love and it is to be found inside us. Inside us there is a Presence living and loving. This Presence is the Presence of Unconditional Love. Because of it we do not need to look for happiness in things outside ourselves, in things like accumulation and achievement and approval. Because of it we can love ourselves as we are and grow in self-esteem. The greatest love of all is to be found inside. Advent invites us to look for it there without fear.

According to Advent another source of hope is in fact our neediness. We must be willing to seek and accept the help of others, including the help of Jesus. Going it alone and attempting to sort out our problems by ourselves does not work. This is called self-sufficiency and it is a form of pride. We need others and they need us. We also need Jesus. There is something liberating about our willingness to acknowledge that we are helpless and powerless. This is the foundation of the AA recovery programme. It is also the basis for creating real community between people. And perhaps this is what we need more than anything else as we face the future – a recovery of the sense of community. We are here to look after each other, not just to look after ourselves. When our lives are built around genuine care and concern for one another then there is always hope.

A Fresh Start

Most of us are usually glad of an opportunity to make a fresh start, to have a new beginning. The reason for this is not just because we are aware of our past mistakes and our failures. It is also, I believe, because we have hopes that have not been realised and dreams that have not been fulfilled.

Every year on the first Sunday of Advent the Christian community makes a fresh start. It is the day the new church year begins. Among the things the season of Advent invites us to do is dream. It encourages us to imagine a better life for ourselves and for our world. Throughout the four weeks of Advent there is a question that keeps recurring. It is a question that is expressed in many different ways. Perhaps the best way to put the question is this: What is it we really long for?

Someone has said that there is a difference between what we long for and what we settle for. During the season of Advent the focus is clearly on what we long for, not on what we settle for. It can take us time to identify what it is we really long for. We may also need help to name our longing. The Advent season offers this help. It suggests things that we might long for. Here are some:

We long to be able to accept ourselves as we are.
We long for reconciliation with members of our families.
We long for someone who will love us unconditionally.
We long to be able to make a difference in the world.
We long for a personal relationship with God.
We long for the healing of a hurt we experienced in the past.

What we really long for may or may not be on this list. If it is, let’s own it; if it is not, we should try to name what ours might be. It is important for us to believe that Jesus wants what we want, what we really want. In other words, the thing we most want for ourselves is the very same thing that Jesus wants for us. After all no one knows the deepest longings in our hearts better than Jesus.

A Compassionate King

If there was one prayer you were given the option to make what would that prayer be? For some people the prayer they would choose is that of the man known as the Good Thief as he hung on the cross next to Jesus on Good Friday, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

That short prayer, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom” is both powerful and beautiful. It is a prayer that is inside each and every one of us. It is a prayer that is deep in our hearts. Perhaps this is the reason why some people are not able to express it until the twelfth hour of their lives. “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom,” is a simple and honest request to Jesus not to forget me, not to neglect me, not to overlook me, not to exclude me, but to grant me a place, any place, in his kingdom.

Why is this prayer made to Jesus? Because Jesus is King of the eternal kingdom which we desire to belong to. Jesus is the one who rules over us. He is the one whom God the Father has appointed judge of the living and the dead. He is the one to whom we will give an account of ourselves when we die. This is why on the last Sunday of the annual church year the Christian community celebrates the feast of Christ the King.

But what kind of judge will Jesus be? We get some idea from his response to the request of the Good Thief: “Indeed I promise you, today you will be with me in paradise.” These are not the words of someone who is critical and judgemental. They are the words of someone who is compassionate and forgiving. Jesus wants us to be with him in his kingdom. Indeed, he will do everything he can to make sure that we will be with him in his kingdom. This is why the poet Francis Thompson described him as the Hound of Heaven.

When we are able to pray the words, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom” with conviction, we can be confident that Jesus, our King, will respond to us in the same way he responded to the Good Thief on the cross, “Indeed I promise you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

Jesus, remember the broken hearted when you come into your kingdom.
Jesus, remember the hard hearted when you come into your kingdom.
Jesus, remember the weak hearted when you come into your kingdom.
Jesus, remember the down hearted when you come into your kingdom.
Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom. Amen.

November

During the month of November the Christian community remembers the dead. We rejoice with the saints in heaven and we pray for the souls in purgatory whom we call the Holy Souls. Remembering our dead in November is a good thing; it is good for the dead and it is good for the living. In the Christian view of life the living and the dead continue to be present to each other. They also continue to influence each other.

Of course our focus on the dead during the month of November is also a reminder to us that we too will die one day. We have here no lasting city. Our true homeland is in heaven. God’s other world beyond the grave is our destination and our destiny. With its focus on heaven the month of November gently challenges us about our readiness for death. When we meet Jesus as Lord face to face in death will we feel comfortable and at home in his presence? At the time of death will the Lord feel like a friend or a stranger? Surely we do not want the Lord to say to us at the hour of our death: ‘It is obvious that you do not know me!’ If we want to be ready to meet the Lord in death we need to do what we can to become familiar with him in life. There are a number of things that can help us to become familiar with the Lord. Let me mention two: prayer and the scriptures.

Prayer is our communication with the Lord. Communication turns strangers into friends. St Teresa of Avila describes prayer as an “intimate conversation between friends. It means taking time frequently to be alone with the one whom we know loves us.” Making even a little time frequently to be alone with the Lord, the one who loves us the most, helps us to acquire personal knowledge of him; and personal knowledge of the Lord is what we seek and desire.

Perhaps one of the questions the Lord will ask us at the hour of our death is this: ‘Did you read my book?’ If we find ourselves saying ‘no’ then the Lord may insist that we spend our purgatory reading the bible. The bible known as the scriptures is the Lord’s book. It is the Lord’s story. It is the Lord making himself known to us, sharing himself with us, opening his heart to us. In the bible we discover who the Lord is and who we are. The scriptures bring us into direct contact with the Lord. They are a source of encounter with him. If we are to become familiar with the Lord then we need to spend some time reading the scriptures and to do so in a prayerful way.