Providing Soul Space

There is a question many of us ask especially when we watch the news.   It is this: What is the cause, the real cause, of all the suffering and conflict in the world? I have no doubt that there are a number of ways of answering this question. This is my way.  I am becoming more and more convinced that the cause of many of our world’s problems is greed and tribalism. Yes, two things, greed and tribalism.  As human beings we tend to feed our greed rather than our need.  We also tend to compete rather than cooperate.  

Let me begin with greed.  Think about this: Human beings are the only species that want more than they really need.  We always want more.  We are never satisfied with what we have. We find it so difficult to say we have enough. We have this insatiable desire to accumulate wealth, to fill our lives with possessions, to want more and more things. In truth, we have a tendency to be greedy.  But this greed is not good for us.  It is not good for us personally.  It is also not good for those who are experiencing poverty and injustice.  Because of greed the world is divided into the haves and the have nots. And we are lucky to be included in the haves!

But what causes us to be greedy?  I believe it is the hole in our hearts.  Whether or not we are aware of it, there is a huge hole inside each of us that needs to be filled.  Unfortunately we try to fill this hole with the wrong things.  In particular we try to fill it with possessions.  We call this materialism.  Jesus, the great wisdom teacher, cautioned us about materialism, about filling the hole we have inside with possessions. For Jesus the hole we have inside can only be filled by love. That’s it.  If we are filling the hole we have inside with love, if we are letting ourselves be loved, then we will not need to be greedy.  We will be able to say, “I have enough.”  In fact, we will be able to say, “I have more than enough.” 

Then there is tribalism.  If human nature tends to be greedy, it certainly tends to be tribal.  The human community is made up of all sorts of tribes.  We all have our own tribes: family, ethnic group, religious denomination, class, nationality, profession, club, football team, etc.  Tribes are about our need to belong. Belonging to a tribe gives us an identity.  It also helps us feel safe and secure. But belonging to a tribe can create dangerous attitudes. It can make us judgemental, exclusive and competitive. It can also create what we call dualistic thinking.  Dualistic thinking is either/or thinking.  It divides the world into those who are good and those who are bad, those who are right and those who are wrong, those who are worthy and those who are unworthy, those who are included and those who are excluded.  It creates outsiders, strangers, rivals, indeed enemies who compete and fight with one another. No wonder we have so many terrible conflicts and wars in our world.

Going forward we have to be willing to go beyond our tribalism, to learn to cooperate rather than compete.  If we don’t the suffering and devastating loss of life will continue and we will end up destroying each other. Jesus, who cautioned us about greed, also taught the way of cooperation. He invited us to build an inclusive community where there would be no outsiders, no strangers, no enemies.   For him we are all children of God, sisters and brothers in the one family.  Again that’s it!  Everyone is a child of God and the entire human community is God’s family. Accepting this would surely make a huge difference to the way we see ourselves and everyone else.

To create a better future for ourselves and for our world, this is what I am suggesting: Let’s feed our need rather than our greed and let’s cooperate rather than compete.

I wonder if it is possible for those of us who have hearing and speech to imagine what it is like to be both deaf and dumb.  What can it be like not to hear the sound of music, or laughter, or the dawn chorus, or the roar of excitement? And what must it be like not to be able to talk, to tell your story, to explain yourself, to share news, to sing a song?  The words frustration, isolation and loneliness immediately come to mind.  No wonder Jesus did not hesitate to heal a deaf mute (see Mark 7:31-37).

The healing of a deaf mute is a very powerful reminder to us of the importance of communication in our lives. Communication is vital in building relationships.  It is the life blood of relationships.  Without communication relationships wither and die.  Inspired and indeed challenged by the healing of the deaf mute we might ask ourselves some questions about where real communication needs to happen in our lives and in our society.  A good place to start is the home.  What kind of communication do we have with the people we are living with?  Would we describe it as quality communication or is it mainly superficial?  Surely the home is not just a place where we share information.  It also needs to be a place where we can share what is in our hearts.

Perhaps the biggest threat to our safety today is different ideologies, especially religious difference.  Going forward some form of dialogue will be absolutely essential.  Are we willing to enter into dialogue with those who are different to us?  The bomb and the bullet will never succeed in putting an end to difference.  Only dialogue will help us understand difference and live peacefully with it.

And then there is our relationship with God.  Are we communicating with God?  Are we making even a little time to listen to God and share the story of our lives with him?  In other words, are we praying?  Without prayer we are not going to experience the friendship with God for which we long.

When Jesus healed the deaf mute he said two simple words: Be opened.  In our communication with others, be they family members, neighbours or God, perhaps Jesus is also saying to us: Be open.  It is an attitude of openness that makes real dialogue possible and which in turn helps to build relationships.  

We all need companionship.  Without some experience of companionship our lives can become lonely and sad.  When John Donne famously said that no man is an island unto himself he was giving expression to the need human beings have to be in relationship.  Of course companionship is much more than being social.  It is the experience of mutual presence.  It is a space where our capacity for life is nourished by others.  It creates the possibility of becoming intimate with someone. This is why the type of relationship we call companionship is one of the most beautiful gifts we can give to each other. 

There are different descriptions of what companionship actually is.  One model is what two people experienced as they travelled from Jerusalem to Emmaus after the death of Jesus.  On their journey these two people were joined by an apparent stranger who walked with them.  Their relationship with the stranger began with the experience of mutual acceptance and ended with a shared meal.  On the road there was attentive listening and soulful conversation.

This is a good example of true companionship.  True companionship involves four things.  Firstly, it is about acceptance, in fact it is about unconditional acceptance or in the words of Karl Rogers, unconditional positive regard.  Unconditional acceptance is the foundation for all forms of companionship.  Secondly, companionship requires attentive mutual listening. Yes, mutual listening. Listening needs to be two-way. Thirdly, companionship needs to include what I like to call soulful conversation.  Soulful conversation is the kind of conversation that gives expression to the things we carry in our hearts. And finally companionship includes the experience of a shared meal, which is sometimes referred to as table fellowship.  Interestingly, the word companion comes from two Latin words ‘cum’ and ‘panis’ which literally mean ‘with bread.’

When we experience companionship in this way the longing within us is satisfied.  We know that we are not alone, that we are understood, that we are valued and, perhaps most importantly, that we are loved as we are.

In the Gospel of Matthew there is an account of Peter jumping out of a boat into stormy waters.   It is pretty dramatic stuff.  It seems to me that, in some ways, this story expresses what is going on in the life of the Christian Churches today.

For some people membership of a church is an experience of belonging and community.  A church helps them feel connected.  It provides them with a degree of stability and certainty.  It is like being together in a boat, especially a boat that is being tossed about in rough seas.

But for other people a church is not a place of belonging and community.  It is not a place where they feel accepted and included.  It is not a place where they are spiritually nourished.  These people often walk away from a church. They step out of the boat.

People who step out of the boat can end up feeling lost and vulnerable, threatened by the storms of life.  Often they do not know what to do or who to turn to.  Yet people who leave a church are in fact being offered an opportunity.  They can use their experience of uncertainty and vulnerability to discover something new.  This is what happened to Peter.  Feeling the force of the wind and waves, knowing that he was drowning, he cried out to Jesus: “Lord, help me!”  And he found that Jesus was there for him.  The Gospel tells us that, “Jesus put out his hand and held him.”  What a powerful image!  In his powerlessness Peter was to discover in a new way the presence of Jesus in his life.

Whether or not we belong to a church there is something we need to realise. The heart and core of the Christian religion is a relationship, a relationship with the person of Jesus.  It is a relationship with Jesus that saves us from emptiness and despair.  It is a relationship with Jesus that gives meaning and purpose to our lives. It is a relationship with Jesus that provides us with the love we long for and need. It is a relationship with Jesus that puts life into church membership. If our experience of religion is only about belonging and identity then we are missing out on the thing that makes all the difference: a life-giving relationship with Jesus.  And so, we must do whatever we can to claim this relationship.

Acceptance can be a significant challenge in our lives, especially as we get older.  To experience the peace and serenity we long for there are a number of things we need to accept.  Here is a list presented in the form of a prayer.

Abba God,

I accept your unconditional love.

I accept myself as I am.

I accept my wounds and addictions.

I accept my weakness and powerlessness to change myself.

I accept all my failures.

I accept that you have forgiven all my failures.

I accept that I need you.

I accept that I need other people.

I accept all the people and situations that come into my life.

Abba God,

May my acceptance of all these things bring me peace and serenity.  Amen.

It is said that the natural resources of the earth can feed five times the current population and yet half the people of the world go to bed every night either undernourished or starving.  What is the main cause of world hunger?  Is it unjust structures?  Is it famine?  Is it lack of political will?  All these things certainly do not help.  It seems to me that the real reason why so many people in our world go hungry is greed, human greed.  The rich want to get richer, while the poor get poorer.

What are the philosophies which drive western society today? What are the philosophies which dominate western society today?  I would suggest capitalism and consumerism.  Capitalism is about making as much money as possible; consumerism is about spending as much money as possible.  Both philosophies promote greed.  Over the last number of years we have endured many public tribunals.  Most of these tribunals have to do with irregularities in our financial institutions and practices.  What is the reason for much of the dishonesty that has been exposed? It is difficult not to suspect that greed has a lot to do with it.

No wonder Jesus, the great wisdom teacher, gives us all a strong warning: “Watch, be on your guard against avarice of any kind, for a man’s life is not made secure by what he owns even when he has more than he needs” (Luke 12:15).  It is said that money is the root of all evil.  Money certainly has the power to make us greedy and selfish.   It can harden our hearts and destroy our relationships.  The truth is we cannot take our money with us when we die.  It will be no good to us in the presence of God.  The only thing we can take with us into death is the love in our hearts.  The love in our hearts is all God will look for.  If our desire for money has made us greedy then we have condemned ourselves!

We know from the gospels that Jesus gave the people he had chosen as his companions a share in his ministry.  He sent them out to preach the good news, to proclaim the Kingdom.  To help his inexperienced disciples in their mission Jesus gave them instructions.  Carrying out these instructions would ensure that their ministry would bear fruit.  In the advice Jesus gave his disciples three things stand out.

1.  The disciples were not to travel on their own, but in pairs, two by two.  Jesus knew the importance and value of companionship.  Indeed, the first thing he did when he began his ministry was to gather a group of companions around him. We need people in our lives who give us encouragement and support, people who lift us when we are sad and celebrate with us when we are glad.  We also need people with whom we can have soulful conversations, people who know us at a deep level and who accept unconditionally the stories of our lives.

2. The disciples were to take no excess baggage, only the things they needed for their work.  Jesus did not want unnecessary things cluttering the lives of his unseasoned missionaries.  He did not want them to lose their focus, to get distracted especially by material possessions.  One of the traps we can fall into is accumulation.  Accumulation only clutters our lives and pulls us away from what is essential. Jesus’ life and work were focused on the building of relationships.  It needs to be the same for us. Our focus too needs to be on creating and sustaining relationships that are caring, compassionate and just.

3. The disciples were to bless in a special way those who offered them hospitality.  In the Jewish tradition hospitality was a sacrament; indeed it was the primal sacrament.  By welcoming others, both friends and strangers, and inviting them to sit at table the Jews believed they were welcoming and feeding the Lord himself. There are two types of hospitality. One is hospitality of the table.  This focuses on our material needs.  We are asked to feed the hungry, shelter the homeless and care for the sick. The second is hospitality of the heart.  This responds to our emotional needs.  We are invited to listen to those who need to talk, affirm those who feel inadequate and support those who feel lonely.  Both hospitality of the table and hospitality of the heart put flesh on the care and companionship of Jesus. Together they are a powerful sacrament of the presence of the Lord in our lives.     

Christians believe that God is a Trinity of Persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  In other words, Christians believe that there is a community life in the reality we call God.  To find out what this means we can read the Scriptures.  We can also explore our human experience.  If God has created us and our world, and if God is Trinity, then the Trinitarian life of God must be reflected in our human lives in all sorts of ways.

An obvious way is our social nature.  We are social beings.  We create relationships and we sustain relationships.  In fact, without relationships we wither and die emotionally, even physically.  John Donne once said that no man is an island unto himself.  We cannot survive in isolation.  It is in living with others, it is in loving others, that we find meaning and that we become our true selves.

Another way is the power of cooperation.  When it comes to a project, a task, an undertaking, the best results are usually achieved when there is cooperation, when people work together as a team.  Ask any sports person, any project manager, any government and they will tell you that the team effort is the best effort, it is the most fruitful and successful effort.  It is also the effort that gives most satisfaction and fulfilment to all those involved.

Then there is the unity of creation.  One of the things we are becoming more aware of today is the way creation functions.  The created world is interdependent.  One part of it affects another.  For example, the cutting down of the rain forests in South America has an impact on climate patterns in Europe and Africa.  The laws of nature are finely balanced and when they are allowed to work together in unity and harmony they fulfil their purpose.

And finally, there is this attempt by a woman to describe what trinity means in her life: “I am a daughter and a wife and mother – three things, yet I am one totality.  To my parents, I would always be their child.  To my husband, a companion and a mate.  To my children, the one who gave them birth and nurtured them till they reached adulthood.  I seem to each of them a different person.  They each know a different kind of ‘me.’  But I am one, within myself a trinity and each of them finds unity in me.”

Of the three Persons in the community life of God the one that tends to get least attention is the Holy Spirit.  Perhaps this is because we find it easier to relate to Jesus who became human.  We also have some experience of what it means to have a father.  The idea of Spirit is more nebulous.  And yet if it wasn’t for the Holy Spirit we would not be able to live the Christian life.  In the Holy Spirit we have received a wonderful gift.  The Holy Spirit does many necessary things for us. Here are four:

The Holy Spirit helps us.  We cannot live the Christian life on our own power and strength.  Jesus knew that what he was asking us to do was humanly impossible.  He knew we would need divine help.  This is why he and his Father gave us the gift of their Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is our energiser, the tiger in our tanks!  The Holy Spirit is the one who empowers us to live like Jesus in our daily lives.  The Holy Spirit is also the one who helps us to pray.

The Holy Spirit enlightens us.  Many of the traditional prayers we say to the Holy Spirit focus on inspiration, understanding and enlightenment.  This is because we associate the Holy Spirit with the gift of wisdom and discernment.  The Holy Spirit is the one we naturally turn to when we need to be inspired and when we have important decisions to make.  When it comes to guidance and to the ability to see the hand of God at work in our lives we are dependent on the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit transforms us.  We are invited to become like Jesus.  Our destiny is to share in the very life of God.  The problem is that we all have hurts, bias and selfish tendencies within us that need to be healed and purified.  This healing and purification is the work of the Holy Spirit.  One of the symbols we use to describe the action of the Holy Spirit is fire.  Fire refines and burns.  The flame of the Holy Spirit within us is a refining fire.  It burns away the evil in our hearts so that we can become like Jesus.

The Holy Spirit unites us.  The Holy Spirit is often referred to as the bond of love.  This is a beautiful description of the Holy Spirit.  In the same way that a child is the bond of love between a husband and wife so the Holy Spirit is the bond of love between the Father and the Son in the life of God.  The Holy Spirit is also the bond of love between Jesus and us and indeed between the members of the Christian community.  The Holy Spirit is the one who links us up, who makes us into a family.  The Holy Spirit is the source of unity between us.  This is why we say that the Church was born as a community on the first Pentecost.  There is a divine energy flowing between us, holding us together, allowing us to affect one another, even when we are physically separated.  This divine energy is the Holy Spirit. 

To have a divine person in our lives to help us, to enlighten us, to transform us and to unite us is surely a gift to take possession of, depend on and cherish.

The heart of Christianity is not a rule of law or a code of behaviour.  It is a Person whose love we receive and whose life we seek to imitate.  Christianity is centred on a Person.  At its core the Christian life is about a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  This is message of the Gospel.  It is also reflected in the lives of the saints.

Perhaps one of the best descriptions of what Christianity is essentially about is to be found in the Gospel of John.  In Chapter 14, verse 6, Jesus describes himself as “the way, the truth and the life.” This was obviously how John and his community of disciples experienced Jesus.  For them Jesus was their way, their truth and their life. He was a real living person in their lives, a person who meant everything to them.

Among the saints whose spirituality is built around a relationship with the person of Jesus, three Carmelites are worth mentioning.  For Teresa of Avila, Jesus was a friend.  Indeed, he was her best friend, her friend par excellence.  This is why Teresa described prayer as an intimate sharing between friends.  It is taking time frequently to be alone with the one whom we know loves us.  Therese of Lisieux, popularly known as the Little Flower, also experienced Jesus as her friend.  Speaking directly to him in her autobiography she says: “O Jesus, my first and only Friend, you whom I love uniquely.”  

And then there was the experience of John of the Cross which is beautifully expressed in his poetry.  John refers to Jesus as his brother, his companion, his master, his saviour and his reward.  Indeed, John goes even further. He calls Jesus his beloved.  In his poem, The Spiritual Canticle, John writes:

“Let us rejoice, Beloved, and let us go forth to behold ourselves in your beauty, to the mountain and to the hill, to where the pure water flows.”

This is a captivating description of who Jesus can become for us.  He offers us his love and intimacy, and he longs for ours in return.