Providing Soul Space

I once heard God compared to a mother who took her three young children to the seaside on a summer’s day.  The children spent most of their time on the beach playing in the sand.  Each of them built a sandcastle, according to his or her ability.  When they had finished their work, their mother came to look at what they had done.  She praised each of them individually for their achievements.  On returning home the mother fed her children, washed them and put them to bed.  Then she sat down to relax.  She was happy with the day at the seaside; pleased that her children enjoyed themselves on the beach and that they were safe.  And in the meantime the tide came in and washed away the sandcastles her children had built.

It is November.  It is the month when we remember the dead and when we think about our own death.  For all of us life is passing; it is transient.  Death is inevitable.  We have here no lasting city.  The thought of our mortality at this wintertime gives us an opportunity to get things in perspective.

To get things in perspective it is helpful to ask ourselves some questions. One question we could do to ask ourselves during November is this: What will we have to leave behind us when our earthly life is over?  Among the things we will definitely leave behind are the sandcastles we have built.  Our sandcastles are more than the buildings we own.  They are our projects, our investments, our businesses, our wealth, even our achievements.  All these things may have preoccupied us in life, but they will be of little benefit to us in death.

Another question November brings is one that gets to the heart of the meaning of life.  What will we take with us when our time in this world is over?  The poet William Blake provides the answer: “We are put on earth a little space that we might learn to bear the beams of love.” What will endure are the relationships we have built, including our relationship with God.  Relationships are the most important thing in life.  It is the investment we make in relationships that we will take with us into God’s other world beyond the grave.  It is love and only love that will last.  When we meet the Lord face to face in death the thing he will look for is the love in our hearts.

So, “if you tend to get overly serious about your work and your responsibilities remind yourself that the most common deathbed regrets have to do with neglected relationships, not unfinished business” (The Little Book of Calm).

A religious reformer, writer, mystic, Doctor of the Church, founder of seventeen monasteries and, perhaps most importantly of all, a charming and wholesome human being.  Who can I be referring to?  The sixteen century Carmelite called Teresa of Avila.  Here is a little taste of her life and spirituality.

Teresa of Avila was a woman who was down to earth and full of practical common sense.  She was a mystic who had her feet firmly planted on the ground.  When one of her more pious Carmelite sisters criticised her for enjoying a well-cooked bird, she immediately replied, “Sister, there is a time for penance and a time for partridge!”  Teresa believed that the Lord can be found among the pots and pans.  Her spirituality was not detached from everyday things and everyday living.  It was an integral part of everyday things and everyday living.  Her God was a God who was personally involved in the business of her life.  She believed that the God, who revealed himself in and through the humanity of Jesus, was revealing himself in and through her humanity too.

Teresa had a great sense of humour.  For her religion should make us cheerful. She once exclaimed, “May the Lord protect us from sour-faced saints!”  As she travelled throughout Spain founding new Carmelite monasteries Teresa had to put up with plenty of inconvenience and hardship.  On one occasion when all of this was obviously getting her down she complained to the Lord, “If this is the way you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few of them!”  Towards the end of her life Teresa agreed to have her portrait painted by a Carmelite brother by the name of John. When she saw the finished product she turned to Brother John and said, “God forgive you Brother John for you have made me fat and bleary-eyed!”  It is refreshing to meet a saint who did not take herself too seriously.

Without doubt Teresa of Avila’s most important contribution to the Christian tradition has to do with prayer.  She is the great teacher in the art of prayer.  Teresa is clear and adamant: If we want a relationship with the Lord then we must spend time in personal prayer and do this regularly.  Her teaching on prayer is perhaps best summed up in these words, “In my opinion, prayer is an intimate sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with the one whom we know loves us.”  For Teresa, prayer is about the experience of friendship, a friendship that satisfies the longing in our hearts for unconditional love. Teresa knew the Lord as an intimate friend and she wants us to experience his intimacy too.

“What is this life if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare.”  Many of us are familiar with this verse from the poem by William Henry Davies.  Many of us too are familiar with the experience the poet is describing.  There are perhaps a number of things that prevent us from taking time to stand and stare.  One in particular is rife in our culture today.  It is called busyness.

Why are we so busy?  The practical reason might be because we seem to have a lot of things to do.  But there may be a deeper reason.  Perhaps we are busy because we need to feel productive.  Perhaps we keep ourselves busy because we do not feel good about ourselves when we are doing nothing.  Perhaps we need to be busy because our value comes from what we do, not from who we are.  Measuring ourselves by our usefulness is called utilitarianism, a philosophy that originated back at the beginning of the 19^th century and has penetrated into the very core of our being.  The Anglo Saxon work ethic dominates our Western culture and has a huge impact not only on the way we see ourselves, but, more importantly, on the way we feel about ourselves.

Perhaps another reason we keep ourselves busy is because we believe that we need to earn the acceptance and approval of Jesus.  “Look busy! Jesus is coming!” is a voice that has influenced our religious experience. It creates a double whammy that leaves us struggling.  Not only is busyness something we expect of ourselves; it is also something we think Jesus expects of us.  This is bad religion and a terrible misunderstanding of the good news of the Gospel.  Jesus’ love does not have to be earned. It is GIFT, not achievement.  Who we are is much more important to Jesus than what we do. He allows us to be and to rejoice in our ways of being.  This is what it means to be loved unconditionally by him.  Jesus is happy for us to take time to stand and stare.   Our culture may make us feel guilty doing it, but Jesus doesn’t!

Jesus was a visitor to the home of two sisters and a brother, Martha, Mary and Lazarus.  In that home we learn about two types of hospitality.  One is a hospitality of the table; the other is a hospitality of the heart (see Luke 10:38-42).

Hospitality of the table is about sharing our food with people.  It is about responding to the material needs of others, what used to be referred to as the corporal works of mercy.  Hospitality of the table is symbolised by the gesture of breaking bread.  It is an act of Christian service.  It was the hospitality that Martha offered Jesus and his companions.

Hospitality of the heart is about making time for people.  It is about listening to people and allowing them to tell their stories.  It is about creating and building relationships.  Hospitality of the heart is the very essence of Christianity.  It was the hospitality that Mary offered Jesus.

These two types of hospitality, hospitality of the table and hospitality of the heart, are both necessary.  We have material needs and we have relationship needs.  From the very beginning the followers of Jesus recognised this and sought to respond to both.  The Christian community needs Marthas, people who serve others in practical ways.  The Christian community also needs Marys, people who sit and listen, who allow others to share what is in their hearts, who help to build relationships. Some people are more naturally like Martha.  They are happier doing practical things for others.  Other people are more naturally like Mary.  They are content spending time with others listening to the story of their lives.  The truth is, while one may come more naturally to us than the other, we need to be both.  If we put all our energy into doing practical things, we end up neglecting our relationship needs.  If we spend all our time listening and talking, the necessary practical things will never get done.

There is of course an important message in this gospel story that Jesus is keen to get across to us.  It is the difference between Martha and Mary which he was quick to spot.  Martha gets her value from her work, from what she does.  She only feels good about herself when she is useful and productive.  Mary, on the other hand, gets her value from her belovedness, from the fact that she belongs to God and that God takes delight in her.  Mary knows that she is loved unconditionally.  She does not have to be busy in order to feel worthy of love.  In short, Martha thinks that love needs to be earned, whereas Mary knows that it is gift.  Jesus is adamant.  Mary has got it right! The Father’s love is gift, not achievement.  To Martha and indeed to us, Jesus says: ‘You have no need to keep yourself busy. Learn to relax.  Let yourself be loved as you are. Be still and know that I am God.’

There are two sides to every story.  There are also two sides to every person; the good side and the not so good side.  Unfortunately, often the not so good side tends to dominate.  We have a tendency only to see the bad and the good becomes blurred, indeed neglected.

In the Gospel we meet a little man called Zacchaeus who was a victim of the tendency in human nature to see the bad (see Luke 19:1-10).  His fellow Jews saw him as a tax collector and therefore as a traitor and a thief.   For them he was a bad person, someone to be shunned, isolated and rejected.  We can have no doubt that Zacchaeus was hurting inside.

When Jesus met Zacchaeus he too saw a tax collector.  But he also saw something more, something better, something good.  He saw the capacity for generosity and care in Zacchaeus’ heart.  Instead of rejecting Zacchaeus, Jesus accepted him.  He chose to dine in Zacchaeus’ house.  Jesus’ attitude to Zacchaeus changed his life.  He became a different person.  His potential for good was awakened and he put his wealth at the service of the poor.

So what about us?  When we look at other people what do we see?  Do we see the good or the bad, the positive or the negative?  If we see the good in others we open up a world of opportunity for them, we bring out the best in them.  If we see the bad in others we limit them, imprison them, confine them to a black hole.

And when we look at ourselves what do we see?  When I look at myself do I see the good or the bad, the strengths or the weaknesses, the successes or failures?  Is my picture of myself a positive one or a negative one?  It is a fact that many people carry within themselves a poor self-image and low self-worth.  There are obviously reasons why some people do not feel loved and lovable. But the objective truth is that everyone is made in the image of God, everyone is loved unconditionally by God and everyone is offered the same friendship of Jesus that Zacchaeus was offered.  Each one of us is a good but weak human being.  While we have a tendency to focus on the negative, Jesus always focuses on the positive. 

The challenge for each of us is not to allow the imperfections, the flaws, the weaknesses to dominate the way we see ourselves, others and indeed the world around us.  Human nature may be full of imperfection and failure, but it is essentially good and, in the end, the good will prove victorious.

It is a fact that table fellowship was very important in the life and ministry of Jesus.  Jesus dined out a lot.  He was once described as a glutton and a drunkard.  And when he spoke about the Kingdom of God he often described it in terms of a banquet or a wedding feast.

Jesus obviously enjoyed good food and a glass of wine.  But for Jesus, the quality of the relationships between the people who sat at his table was more important than the quality of food and wine placed on his table. Jesus’ dinner guests were a collection of all sorts of people: tax collectors, prostitutes, Pharisees, the poor, the wealthy, the sick and the sad. At Jesus’ table these very diverse groups of people had to accept one another and be genuinely interested in each other’s lives.

In Jesus’ dining room there are only round tables.  Why? There is no top or bottom at a round table; there are no seats of honour.  You can sit anywhere at a round table and not feel out of place.  Round tables are inclusive.  At a round table you can see everyone and engage with everyone.  Round tables are more conducive to communication and to the experience of companionship.

So what does Jesus want us to bring to his round tables?  Humility.  Humility comes from the word humus which means ‘of the earth.’  We are all of the earth.  We are all creatures.    No one of us is more important than anyone else. We are all totally dependent on God.

In the northwest of Ireland there is a well-known centre of pilgrimage, prayer and penance called Lough Derg. It is a challenging place. The first thing you do when you get to the island for the three day retreat is take off your shoes and socks. You spend all your time there with nothing on your feet.  There is something powerful and significant in the fact that everyone is walking around in their bare feet.  Everyone is connected directly to the earth; everyone is on the same level.  The truth is we all share a common humanity and a common need.  We are all equal. What’s more, we are all vulnerable.

Those who gather around Jesus’ dining table must first take off their shoes. The community Jesus wishes to create in the world is a community of equals.  It is a community founded on our common humanity and built by our compassion. It is a community that gives concrete expression to what it means to belong to the Kingdom of God.

We know from the gospels that Jesus gave the people he had chosen as his companions a share in his ministry.  He sent them out to preach the good news, to proclaim the Kingdom.  To help his inexperienced disciples in their mission Jesus gave them instructions.  Carrying out these instructions would ensure that their ministry would bear fruit.  In the advice Jesus gave his disciples three things stand out.

1.  The disciples were not to travel on their own, but in pairs, two by two.  Jesus knew the importance and value of companionship.  Indeed, the first thing he did when he began his ministry was to gather a group of companions around him. We need people in our lives who give us encouragement and support, people who lift us when we are sad and celebrate with us when we are glad.  We also need people with whom we can have soulful conversations, people who know us at a deep level and who accept unconditionally the stories of our lives.

2. The disciples were to take no excess baggage, only the things they needed for their work.  Jesus did not want unnecessary things cluttering the lives of his young missionaries.  He did not want them to lose their focus, to get distracted especially by material possessions.  One of the traps we can fall into is accumulation.  Accumulation only clutters our lives and pulls us away from what is essential. Jesus’ life and work were focused on the building of relationships.  It needs to be the same for us. Our focus too needs to be on creating and sustaining caring and compassionate relationships.

3. The disciples were to bless in a special way those who offered them hospitality.  In the Jewish tradition hospitality was a sacrament; indeed it was the primal sacrament.  By welcoming others, both friends and strangers, and inviting them to sit at table the Jews believed they were welcoming and feeding the Lord himself. There are two types of hospitality. One is hospitality of the table.  This focuses on our material needs.  We are asked to feed the hungry, shelter the homeless and care for the sick. The second is hospitality of the heart.  This responds to our emotional needs.  We are invited to listen to those who need to talk, affirm those who feel inadequate and comfort those who feel lonely.  Both hospitality of the table and hospitality of the heart put flesh on the care and companionship of Jesus. Together they are a powerful sacrament of the presence of the Lord in our lives.

Of the three Persons in the community life of God the one that tends to get least attention is the Holy Spirit.  Perhaps this is because we find it easier to relate to Jesus who became human.  We also have some experience of what it means to have a father.  The idea of Spirit is more nebulous.  And yet if it wasn’t for the Holy Spirit we would not be able to live the Christian life.  In the Holy Spirit we have received a wonderful gift.  The Holy Spirit does many necessary things for us. Here are four:

(1) The Holy Spirit is our helper.  We cannot live the Christian life on our own power and strength.  Jesus knew that what he was asking us to do was humanly impossible.  He knew we would need divine help.  This is why he and his Father gave us the gift of their Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is our energiser, the tiger in our tanks!  The Holy Spirit is the one who empowers us to live like Jesus in our daily lives.  The Holy Spirit is also the one who helps us to pray.

(2) The Holy Spirit enlightens us.  Many of the traditional prayers we say to the Holy Spirit focus on inspiration, understanding and enlightenment.  This is because we associate the Holy Spirit with the gift of wisdom and discernment.  The Holy Spirit is the one we naturally turn to when we need to be inspired and when we have important decisions to make.  When it comes to guidance and to the ability to see the hand of God at work in our lives we are dependent on the Holy Spirit.

(3) The Holy Spirit transforms us.  We are invited to become like Jesus.  Our destiny is to share in the very life of God.  The problem is that we all have hurts, bias and selfish tendencies within us that need to be healed and purified.  This healing and purification is the work of the Holy Spirit.  One of the symbols we use to describe the action of the Holy Spirit is fire.  Fire refines and burns.  The flame of the Holy Spirit within us is a refining fire.  It burns away the evil in our hearts so that we can become like Jesus.

(4) The Holy Spirit unites us.  The Holy Spirit is often referred to as the bond of love.  This is a beautiful description of the Holy Spirit.  In the same way that a child is the bond of love between a husband and wife so the Holy Spirit is the bond of love between the Father and the Son in the life of God.  The Holy Spirit is also the bond of love between Jesus and us and indeed between the members of the Christian community.  The Holy Spirit is the one who links us up, who makes us into a family.  The Holy Spirit is the source of unity between us.  This is why we say that the Church was born as a community on the first Pentecost.  There is a divine energy flowing between us, holding us together, allowing us to affect one another, even when we are physically separated.  This divine energy is the Holy Spirit. 

To have a divine person in our lives to help us, to enlighten us, to transform us and to unite us is surely a gift to take hold of, depend on and cherish.

The period between the Ascension and Pentecost is a very sacred time.  It is the period of the first novena, nine days of prayer.  Between the Ascension and Pentecost the disciples of Jesus kept vigil, they watched and waited for the gift from above.  Conscious of their need for divine help and inspiration, the disciples prayed earnestly for the gift Jesus promised them, the gift of the Holy Spirit.  The scriptures tell us that they “joined in continuous prayer, together with several women including Mary the mother of Jesus” (Acts 1:14). 

The days leading up to Pentecost offer us an ideal opportunity to pray for a fresh outpouring of the Holy Spirit in our personal lives and in the life of the Christian community. The energy and enthusiasm required to live the Christian life comes from the Holy Spirit; so does the wisdom we need to make good decisions. The world today needs Christians who have listened to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and who are willing to practice the values of Jesus with conviction and courage.

The sacred days leading up to Pentecost are also an ideal time to bring into the Divine Presence our needs and our intentions.  We all have things we are struggling with, things that are difficult and perhaps painful.  Even though we have a tendency to rely on our own power and strength to overcome our problems we do not have to manage these on our own.  The Holy Spirit is waiting for our invitation.  The Holy Spirit wants to help us.  The Holy Spirit can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

It is becoming more and more obvious that the Church is undergoing a major transition. Old models of faith practice which we held dear are breaking down leaving many of us feeling confused and lost.  While it is necessary to grieve for the things we are losing, it is also important to believe that this time of transition offers us new opportunities.  The Holy Spirit is with us as our guide and inspiration.  The sacred days between Ascension and Pentecost are a special time to ask the Holy Spirit to help us find a new direction for the Church, new ways of being community and new sources of nourishment for our spiritual lives.        

Come Holy Spirit. Inspire our minds with your wisdom. Fill our hearts with your love. Help us to believe that you are always with us, guiding us, helping us and uniting us. Amen.

We all need companionship in our lives.  Without some experience of companionship our lives can become lonely and sad.  When John Donne said that no man is an island unto himself he was giving expression to the need human beings have to be in relationship.  Of course companionship is much more than being social.  It is the experience of mutual presence.  It is a space where our capacity for life is nourished by others.  It creates the possibility of becoming intimate with someone. This is why the type of relationship we call companionship is one of the most beautiful gifts we can give to each other. 

There are different descriptions of what companionship actually is.  One model is what two people experienced as they travelled from Jerusalem to Emmaus after the death of Jesus.  On their journey they were joined by an apparent stranger who walked with them.  Their relationship with the stranger began with the experience of mutual acceptance and ended with a shared meal.  On the road there was attentive listening and soulful conversation.

This is a good example of what we might call Christian companionship.  Christian companionship has four aspects.  It begins with an attitude of acceptance that is inclusive and that transcends race, colour, religion, class and sexual orientation.  It offers people a listening hear and an opportunity to tell their story.  It allows soulful conversation to develop, the kind of conversation that gives expression to the things that truly matter.  And it includes the experience of a shared meal, which is sometimes referred to as table fellowship.  In fact the word companion comes from two Latin words ‘cum’ and ‘panis’ which literally mean ‘with bread.’

When we experience companionship in this way we find that the longing within us is satisfied.  The experience of Christian companionship can be the key to unlock our hearts.  It can also open up the teaching of Jesus allowing us to find meaning and life in the Gospel.  It is no wonder that the two people who were accompanied by Jesus on their journey from Jerusalem to Emmaus found themselves saying, “did not our hearts burn within us as he talked to us on the road and explained the scriptures to us” (Luke 24:32).